I used to love the holidays. Used to love Christmas. When I was a kid, my mom use to go full out and spend a ton of, unnecessary, money on decorations and gifts. It’s sort of amazing to think that used to be the case, especially, if you could see my how my house is now. It isn’t decorated. We didn’t get a tree. There are no presents. What happened? Well, my mom got sick and my family in the last six years have sort of revealed themselves to be really shitty. There isn’t so much a family anymore. I work and am my moms fulltime caretaker but there isn’t much a good relationship there. If anything, it’s one based off a lot of resentment and anger. And my brother, a coward and an asshole, isn’t in our lives at all. I do this by myself. I’m 23 and I’m responsible for someone else and because of that I don’t have a lot of independence. Anyways, Christmas is happening in that we’re going to dinner at a friends house but it’s a friend who we don’t really talk to that often, and, perhaps, the invite was more out of some sense of pity.
But yesterday, I hung out with my best friend and her family. She lives in Palm Desert so I don’t get to see her that often, and we try to always make the most of it when we do see each other. So, I had brunch and dinner with her family. It was just her family. It was suppose to be just her family but they included me and I was thankful. I had an amazing time, and I realized that I may have been born into pretty shitty family but my friends (the family who chose me/I chose) are pretty amazing who are constantly supporting and listening to me. I may want today to hurry up and be over but I really wish yesterday, with them, could of lasted a little bit longer.
/End of whatever that was